the bare essentials

On my first job AND my dear (crazy) friend

2008-06-10T10:59:00.003+08:00

MY FIRST JOB

I will be posting up two topics today..the first..is a short one..

I JUST GOT HIRED FOR A JOB AS PROJECT EXECUTIVE! haha..sounds chun rite the name?haha..but yeah..the company's a marketing communications company..and they do more formal kinda events like conferences, launches, meetings, etc..

I love it even though its formal events, its still organizing stuff..

its my 2nd day at work today (im in the office now) and as a newbie..of course i dun have the workload yet..=) i did do sum stuff yst..not clerical but booking hotels u know..=)

but the sad thing is...when i juz wanna start oni..and thought of using the car...PETROL HIKE! of course...my life wat..*SIGHHHHH*

anyway its in SS2 pj and its a really comfortable place..its a house cum office..hehe..so its a really relaxed environment..oni 4 workers excluding me..=) and guess what im wearing?no..not formal clothes....jeans!hahaaha..

anyway..the really fun part of this post is in the 2nd topic..juz wanted to update about my life..oh..did i mention i'll be going to Singapore in September to organize an event?for 8 friggin days! and the event is oni for 3 days..that gives me alot of time to lepak there!haha..

MY DEAR (CRAZY) FRIEND

This is my dear friend..he is called Muzzaffar Shah..Muzz for short..Muz if u lazy wanna type the second 'z'..haha..

Here's the story..

One day, Andrew, Chee Wee, Foo, Syafiq, Logesh, Sneha, Muzz and i were having dinner in bekerly 'kampung' food court..

i don't know how, but we suddenly got into the topic of science (or more like common friggin sense!)

so we asked muzz to tell us about the 6 species of animals..

Muzz: reptilia, mammal, herbivor... (and no..he couldn't answer all 6..for those who don't know..its reptiles,mammals,amphibians,birds,fish and insects)

we laughed so hard..and we told him what a herbivor is!

and then we asked him..

what herbivors,carnivors and omnivors ate:

Muzz: herbivor eat plants, carnivor eat meat, omnivor eat fish!

*sigh* i didn't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for him or myself (for having this friend)

and then we decided to ask more general questions:

what is the BIGGEST flower in the world?

Muzz: .....

Kerry: ok ok i'll give u some clues..its situated..where i went for holiday with swee wei all..its the smelliest flower in the world...

Muzz: .....

Chee Wee: ok la we give u A,B,C,D

A; sunflower

B; rose

C; hibiscus

D; rafflesia

Muzz: ........ (after a good long minute) ..... D ?

Kerry: just because its the weirdest name rite?ahahaa..

and then, one more question:

Kerry: what's Malaysia's national flower?

Muzz: *proudly answers while pointing at the sky as though in triumph* BUNGA ROS LA!

Everyone: *pause*.........*hysterical laughter*!!!wahahahahahhahaahahahahahahahaahahahaha

OMG...

Y do i have friends like these again?

and he said he damn long din study since SPM

and what kinds of questions were these? UPSR questions..*sigh*

On friggin long words!

2008-06-01T03:40:00.006+08:00

I was chatting with andrew about coming up with a new name for our TMB group and wanted to find a really good name but our friend said we should only use one word (i wanted to call ourselves HandsofGod-see,its not one word)
so i thought as a joke, to put SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS = song title from the Walt Disney movie Mary Poppins.It is in the Oxford English Dictionary.

"But then one day I learned a word
That saved me achin' nose,
The biggest word you ever 'eard,
And this is 'ow it goes:
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

BUT no, to my surprise, this was not the longest word in the dictionary..
u wanna know what is?

LONGEST WORDS

PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS (also spelled PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOKONIOSIS) (45letters)
= a lung disease caused by breathing in particles of siliceous volcanic dust.This is the longest word in any English dictionary. However, it was coined by Everett Smith, the President of The National Puzzlers' League, in 1935 purely for the purpose of inventing a new "longest word". The Oxford English Dictionary described the word as factitious. Nevertheless it also appears in the Webster's, Random House, and Chambers dictionaries.

*(friggin long word for juz 'a lung disease')

HEPATICOCHOLANGIOCHOLECYSTENTEROSTOMIES (37letters)
= a surgical creation of a connection between the gall bladder and a hepatic duct and between the intestine and the gall bladder.This is the longest word in Gould's Medical Dictionary.

HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPEDALIAN (30letters)
= pertaining to a very long word.From Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure and Preposterous Words.

FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION (29letters)
= an estimation of something as worthless.This is the longest word in the first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. Interestingly the most common letter in English, E, does not appear in this word at all, whilst I occurs a total of nine times. The word dates back to 1741. The 1992 Guinness Book of World Records calls floccinaucinihilipilification the longest real word in the Oxford English Dictionary, and refers to pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis as the longest made-up one.

HONORIFICABILITUDINITATIBUS (27letters)
= honorableness.
The word first appeared in English in 1599, and in 1721 was listed by Bailey's Dictionary as the longest word in English. It was used by Shakespeare in Love's Labor's Lost (Costard; Act V, Scene I):
"O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
for thou art not so long by the head ashonorificabilitudinitatibus:
thou art easierswallowed than a flap-dragon."
Shakespeare does not use any other words over 17 letters in length.

CHEMICAL TERMS

Two chemical terms (3,641 and 1,913 letters long) have appeared in the Guinness Book of World Records. They were withdrawn because they have never been used by chemists, and there is no theoretical limit to the length of possible legitimate chemical terms. A DNA molecule could have a name of over 1,000,000,000 letters if it was written out in full.

ACETYLSERYLTYROSYLSERYLISOLEUCYLTHREONYLSERYLPROLYLSERYLGLUTAMINYLPHENYLALANYLVALYLPHENYLALANYLLEUCYLSERYLSERYLVALYLTRYPTOPHYLALANYLASPARTYLPROLYLISOLEUCYLGLUTAMYLLEUCYLLEUCYLASPARAGINYLVALYLCYSTEINYLTHREONYLSERYLSERYLLEUCYLGLYCYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLPHENYLALANYLGLUTAMINYLTHREONYLGLUTAMINYLGLUTAMINYLALANYLARGINYLTHREONYLTHREONYLGLUTAMINYLVALYLGLUTAMINYLGLUTAMINYLPHENYLALANYLSERYLGLUTAMINYLVALYLTRYPTOPHYLLYSYLPROLYLPHENYLALANYLPROLYLGLUTAMINYLSERYLTHREONYLVALYLARGINYLPHENYLALANYLPROLYLGLYCYLASPARTYLVALYLTYROSYLLYSYLVALYLTYROSYLARGINYLTYROSYLASPARAGINYLALANYLVALYLLEUCYLASPARTYLPROLYLLEUCYLISOLEUCYLTHREONYLALANYLLEUCYLLEUCYLGLYCYLTHREONYLPHENYLALANYLASPARTYLTHREONYLARGINYLASPARAGINYLARGINYLISOLEUCYLISOLEUCYLGLUTAMYLVALYLGLUTAMYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLGLUTAMINYLSERYLPROLYLTHREONYLTHREONYLALANYLGLUTAMYLTHREONYLLEUCYLASPARTYLALANYLTHREONYLARGINYLARGINYLVALYLASPARTYLASPARTYLALANYLTHREONYLVALYLALANYLISOLEUCYLARGINYLSERYLALANYLASPARAGINYLISOLEUCYLASPARAGINYLLEUCYLVALYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMYLLEUCYLVALYLARGINYLGLYCYLTHREONYLGLYCYLLEUCYLTYROSYLASPARAGINYLGLUTAMINYLASPARAGINYLTHREONYLPHENYLALANYLGLUTAMYLSERYLMETHIONYLSERYLGLYCYLLEUCYLVALYLTRYPTOPHYLTHREONYLSERYLALANYLPROLYLALANYLSERINE (1,185letters)
= Tobacco Mosaic Virus, Dahlemense Strain.This word has appeared in the American Chemical Society's Chemical Abstracts and is thus considered by some to be the longest real word.

*yes...its ONE word..take a deep breath and say it out loud..i bet u'll lost breath after the 20th syllable..whahaaha...*

PLACE NAMES

TAUMATAWHAKATANGIHANGAKOAUAUOTAMATEATURIPUKAKAPIKIMAUNGAHORONUKUPOKAIWHENUAKITANATAHUA (85 letters)hill in New Zealand.
This Maori name was in general use, but is now generally abbreviated to Taumata. The name means: the summit of the hill, where Tamatea, who is known as the land eater, slid down, climbed up and swallowed mountains, played on his nose flute to his loved one.

GORSAFAWDDACHAIDRAIGODANHEDDOGLEDDOLONPENRHYNAREURDRAETHCEREDIGIONA (66 letters) town in Wales.
The name means: the Mawddach station and its dragon teeth at the Northern Penrhyn Road on the golden beach of Cardigan bay.

LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTYSILIOGOGOGOCHA (58 letters) town in North Wales.
The name roughly translates as: St. Mary's Church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool of Llantysilio of the red cave. It is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records.

CHARGOGAGOGMANCHARGOGAGOGCHARBUNAGUNGAMOG (41 letters)
Another name for Lake Webster in Massachusetts. Probably the longest name in the United States. Alternative spellings are:

CHARGOGGAGOGGMANCHAUGGAGOGGCHAUBUNAGUNGAMOGG (44letters ) ,

CHARGOGGAGOGGMANCHAUGGAGOGGCHAUBUNAGUNGAMAUGG (45letters),

CHARGOGGAGOGGMANCHAUGGAGOGGCHABUNAGUNGAMAUGG(44letters) .

NUNATHLOOGAGAMIUTBINGOI (23letters)
The Eskimo name for some dunes in Alaska, according to The Book of Names by J. N. Hook.

and the funniest most ironic thing ever...
you know that there's such a thing as a phobia for long words?and that's not the only funny thing..what's ironic is that this symptom is called hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia!(It is literally the hippopotamus- and monster-related fear of very long words. )
hahahaahaaaaa....

friggin long words taken from http://fun-with-words.com/word_longest.html

To all the avid bloggers...i SALUTE you!

2008-05-31T23:45:00.004+08:00

i have come to realize and accept the fact that i am and (most probably) can never be an avid blogger. Honestly, i have all these thoughts in my mind that i juz want and sometimes even NEED to let out but whenever i turn on my blogspot, i juz go blank. (maybe its bcoz whenever i turn on blogspot,there's a tv in front of me=)). i cannot even begin to comprehend how some of my friends have the time of day to just blog about every single moment that happens in their life! i honestly, can't remember all of it..i guess that's the main problem. Anyway, i went to lovely Sabah and came back, plopped on my bed because i did not sleep properly for the whole 8days i was there, and woke up a few hours later. haih, i hate having insomnia.

There exists a love-hate feeling about being at home. or maybe a love-hateSS feeling since there's only ONE thing i love about being at home - my bed. Staying in Jacqkie's lovely home is fine and comfy, but nothing compares to the comfort and sentimental value of your own bed, don't you think?=)

I don't know why i even feel surprised that my parents did absolutely NOTHING when i came home and left the 8-day-long housework to me. *sigh*

Since i came back on the 20th, i have had nothing to do. I went for two interviews - one of which is stil pending, and the other one i did not accept since i KNow very well what that job wants me to do - run around selling stuff.

and while i was bumming around (cashless) i came across this new game that my frenz were talking about and its super duper ADDICTIVE! its called the mafia boss! hahaa...sound interesting? go check out http://www.themafiaboss.com/ and see! its all about strategizing and knowing how to kill,when to kill,when to stop! hahaaa..
and honestly..it IS very very ADDICtive! i'm currently playing it with chee wee,logesh,andrew,syafiq,syafiq's bro,muzz,simon,chong lun..whaahhaa...so MANY ppl!
but honestly,u can't mess around in this game..some of the people there are NUTS!they're so serious about it (i guess bcoz u can win REAL cash - up to USD 2,500!) they're really into the game and are soooo good at it they use math and all that stuff to strategize in the game..i'm not kidding!haha..
Well, this is what i'm doing in the meantime..gonna work with my uncle at his office on monday..its an ok pay..i still dunno what i'm supposed to do..haha..i guess i'll be a clerk or secretary or something...i'll keep finding better jobs while i'm working there..anyone got any recommendations?

lifeless me...

2008-05-09T04:55:00.002+08:00

Real Name: Kerry Ng Eelee
Nickname: (damn alot wei) Skerry, Carrie Junior, Angkat, Satu biji (ee lee in chinese,don't even dare calling me that..), Kenny..
Married: Nope..
Male/Female: Female
High school: SMK Convent Klang..
College: Taylor's College PJ
Are You A Healthy Freak?: so-so la..well, you oni live once but don't push it la..you don't want to suffer during that ONE lifetime u have by having kencing manis/diabetes/obesity..
Do You Have A Crush On Someone?: nope..i just want to crush someone..
Do You Like Yourself: hmm..good question..i ask myself that everyday..
First..
Surgery: did one or got one?
Person You See In The Morning: myself..and my dog..
Award: alot for chess la..but as i grew older, the prizes got lesser coz i either got stupider or lazier..maybe both..
Sport You Join: Basketball, volleyball, badminton, rock climbing (cheh oni twice oni la)
Vacation: conquered Singapore, Thailand(oni phuket la), PD, Langkawi..malacca, genting and soon..Sabah!
Concert: Good Charlotte..ONLY..damn sad i know..oh is a rave considered? i went to UVNATION..wahaa..kesian me la..make my list abit longer..
Drink: water? be more specific man! well in terms of booze, i drink almost everything and love almost everything..favourites are sweet drinks though..i like drinking stuff that don't taste like they're gonna kill you
Your future..
Want Kids: Yeap, one girl one boy..GIRL MUST BE D ELDEST!
Want To Get Married: well we must all do our parts in repopulating the earth..
Careers In Mind: Events management..
Which is better?
Lips Or Eyes?: Eyes! they're the windows to the soul..or the windows that show if any fucka is lying to you..evil things can come outta ppl's lips..
Hugs Or Kisses?: can i have both?
Shorter Or Taller?: either way but not too short or too tall la..hard to kiss u know..
Romantic Or Spontaneous?: romantically spontaneous..
Sensitive Or Loud?: people should know when to be which on what occasion..
Troublemaker Or Hesitant?: troublemaker just like me!
Have you ever..
Kissed A Stranger?: too general la..kissed a guy i juz met in a day..
Drank Bubbles: wtf..yalah..small small..damn thristy ma when bathing..hahaa..
Lost Glasses / Contacts: too many times to count la..
Ran Away From Home: got la but my parents juz thought i went out..coz i ran away for like 5 hours oni..whahah..i was young ok..
Liked Someone Younger: yup..
Broke someone's heart: yeah..
Been arrested: so far so good..haven't gotten caught yet..
Cried when someone died: of course!!even thinking about someone dying brings me to tears!
Do you believe in..
Yourself: hmm..in my principles la..not in my capabilities..
Miracles: SO SO much!
Magic: i'm not supposed to bcoz i'm christian..we call it miracles..
Angels: definitely!i've seen them..
Answer truthfully..
Is There Someone You Want To Be With Right Now?: of course!
Tag 5 ppl:
i tag..Jacqkie..Amir..Denise..Shaneil..and Mary..

Excitation! and Mengeluh-.-"

2008-05-09T03:38:00.002+08:00

Time: 3:44am
Date: 9 May 2008
Day: Friday

Right now..I am sitting down in front of my dad (who is cheekily peeking at what I am doing with his laptop..damn..I wish I had my own laptop..ok ok diverting edi..) thinking about how many days (or hours) there are left till i get on that Air Asia plane and land on Sabahan grounds..

Time: 9:30am
Date 13 May 2008
Day: Tuesday

That's when my flight is..3 more days..77 hours and 44minutes left till my flight leaves..hmm..i wonder if this is borderline obsession...haha..honestly..i have always been like this..want to know how i got this way?the answer is LIES!

Pada zaman dulu dulu (bukan dulu sangat la..) when i was a young little girl, full of hope, excitement, imagination, ambition..my dad promised me (more than once) to bring me to many places - China...... (well maybe only one la..) i waited for so long until all my hope was gone.. and until now, we never managed to go there..even then..you know those times when u were younger and you would get so excited when ur parents said they were going to the mall..even if it was a sundry market aso u want to follow (as though we were some prisoners at home that could never go out) and you would wish so much for it..and be so excited to get into the car and go for a ride! well, even then my dad always told me he was going to bring me to KL to 'kia-kia' (jalan-jalan)..u know..i got especially excited because he told me he wanted to go KL to find some puppies to buy for me! sampai sekarang masih takde la..because sumting always came up or sumting would happen that would delay the trip..it happened so many times until i guess my dad forgot his promise to bring me..sobs..

Even last time, i would always plan to go out with my friends..especially when we plan to go somewhere far away..(last time to us far was KL la..) something would always happen that would end up with us not going at ALL! This even happened during church camps..somehow my parents somehow last minute won't let me go..(u know parents sometimes bargain with us..'if u do tis or if u be a good girl oni u can go'..den as usual..kenot be good girl for even a day..will cause them to ground me n not let me go..diverting again-.-") so everytime when we plan to go for a trip..i always wait for something bad to happen that will result in me not being able to go..and when against all odds i happen to successfully be at my designated area, i'll always think that i was dreaming..(am i making sense?)

Best example:

SO it began with a few of us who suddenly started crapping about going to Sabah..then in the beggining of the year, Beh and I asked our closest friends if any of them wanted to go..this was not planned btw..it was kinda like abit random la..den suddenly everyone got excited and like "why not why not" la..so we were like..OK! so we planned everything and in February we actually booked the tickets so everything was confirmed! and since then i kepy toking about Sabah..until my frenz aso got irritated..juz yesterday Cwee told me "Since 2 months ago you've been toking about Sabah Sabah everything aso Sabah!" haha..but it was true..i was really excited..it was like freaking 6 years ago since i sat on a plane ok!who wouldn't be excited!

Now that the day of our flight is so close...my mind began its usual pessimism and began thinking of nonsensical things..(this all happened during my exams..so now u know where my brain was at la..)
A few examples of things i thought would happen (some of it is abit 'choi' la..):

something would happen to me, like get dengue..den kenot go..

i would have the 'final destination' thing happen to me like when i get into d plane i suddenly have a premonition dream of the plane crashing (i told u it was 'choi'..)

juz the other day (at 3am..i sleep late..almost everyday..) my dog was barking really loudly so i went to look outside..juz when i was about to open the gate, my dad who was downstairs (also sleeps late) told me not to simply open the door in case got anything...and the first thoughts that came into my mind was that a thief was hiding at the side and when i walked out he would VHACK (i pronounce 'whack' with a 'v' for more emphasis..i do this regularly..i am very indian..not being racist..i AM that way..ask my frenz..) me on the head and i would be injured and get concussion and not be allowed to go..or i would walk out and a snake would bite me..den i kena poison den kenot go..(as i said..nonsensical..but my frenz would know that 'suei' things ALWAYS happen to me..even the weirdest stuff that never happens oni happens to me wan..of course rite..why not..*damn*..)

BUT...so far so good la..I thank my closest frenz for helping me out with the Sabah trip..u know who u are and what you helped me with..so i want to thank you for helping me out or even offering to help me was so nice of you..i am eternally grateful for it..anyway..i will continue being excited until d whole Sabah trip ends..i know some people might say that i'll jinx it but..i don't care!!i'm so happy!!! the thing that gets me excited the most is that my BESTEST BEST FRIEND can go!! so i'll be spending my holiday with my best friends Jacqkie, Swee Wei, Caroline, Audrey, Behonce, Daren, Calyn (who kenot rmb my bday aso..except you Audrey..thanks..=p) and my bestest best friend Chea Wen for 192 hours!

you know why i'm damn excited my BBF can go?because her parents are damn damn strict until when she wants to go upstairs to her own room aso sometimes must ask permission wan! in her own house wei! and her mom doesn't even let her go to subang alone! overnight in MY house (me!her best fren for 13 years aso kenot!) How not to be excited?
Go subang kenot..straight go SABAH can la! whahahaa...wtf! damn weird rite?! freaking weird wei her parents!!

Okay so you may think where the mengeluh comes in..(is this a long post?*being sarcastic*)

Well..this thing i just had to tell because i promised Jacqkie i would..
Jacqkie and i were talking about Nessa's Ben..Jacqkie was saying how cute Ben and Nessa were as a couple..and then we were like joking about Ben's 'sexy legs' cause he had no bulu kaki and when he said he was " 'chinese' ma"..then Jacqkie was saying how it was true that Chinese din have a lot of bulu kaki..den i said i knew alot of chinese frenz who had ALOT of bulu kaki.. den Syafiq said 'i don't know y my elder n younger bro got not alot of bulu but i got alot' den i said bcoz syafiq lepaks with indians..so folo culture la..waahahaa..but no..that wasn't the funny or mengeluh part of course..

This is what happened:

Jaqkie: no la, i think ah its bcoz when you (syafiq) younger, you play more ganas..
Kerry: what?! wah..that means if i play ganas when i younger i aso will get alot of bulu kaki la? *looks at Syafiq* syafiq syafiq..next time more 'delicate' la..
Jacqkie:no la..that not wat i mean..i mean like..more naughty la..
Kerry: -.-" *laughs*
Jacqkie: that's not what i mean la! i mean u know..ahhh!! *eureka* *light bulb on* MASCULINE! that's the word..
Kerry: oh..so you mean more testosterone la..*thinks to herself*-now that makes sense-
Jacqkie: yah yah..
Jacqkie: SO..*tries to make a theory* if the guy have more testikels then got more testosterones la..
Syafiq: WAH! so that means i got three testikels la huh..
Kerry: Jacqkie, u know testikels means balls rite?
Jacqkie: yah i know! *holds strongly to opinion* so if the guy got more testikels, then he got more testosterones then got more bulu kaki la..more masculine la i mean..
Syafiq: hmm..like that indians got about 3 or 4 balls la..people like Shaneil maybe got 5 rite..
Jacqkie: maybe aso..we don't know rite..maybe we ask Denise den we know la..
Kerry: so maybe Daren aso got 3 balls la rite..
Jacqkie: oh yah ah! maybe aso! *quiets for a while*..Ewwwww!
Kerry: *looks at Syafiq* now u know wat i go thru in college la..hahahahahaa..

This is why i mengeluh..

and so..this is another proof of how much you kenot help but loooovvveeee these people who are my best frenz!! (and never forgetting to mengeluh at the same time..)

Misunderstandings or just plain deaf?

2008-04-18T19:58:00.003+08:00

I have for almost 13 years coped with my best friend always mishearing what i have said..thinking i said something else...and even after all those years..she still hasn't changed..u know what makes my life better?meeting MORE people who have hearing problems like her!
a few simple examples..

Audrey: PJ
Sweei: stupid gay?

Jacqkie: Olympics
Daren: Pussy?

Amir: I love to play basketball
Christian New: you love to play with man's balls?

OH MY GOSH!!wtf!
you know..there are many other situations where things like this happen but i would get too frustrated remembering them..haih..

anyway..i know its been long since i have posted anything..so i'll post one thing now about what happened today..

i auditioned for Christien Lavin's Life is Good back to school auditions..it was weird..i just wanted to do it just for laughs and because i was a bit lifeless..haha..anyways if i get the part, i'd get paid..and that was al that was in my mind..

anyway..Audrey told me that the synopsis of the movie was..
Christien New and Lavin Seow who are (self-proclaimed) superstars, want to know what a student's life in school/college is about so they (i think) pretend to be students to do so.
GET IT?

so this is MY analogy of it:

two superstars want to act as superstars in a movie
so they have an audition for students who will act as (guess what?) STUDENTS in the movie!
WOW! that is the most creative idea for a movie if i've ever heard of one in my life! they should win an award for just thinking of such an idea!!(note the sarcasm)

anyways, i auditioned for the money..hahaaa...so yeah i too am kinda dumb for auditioning..but what the heck..i gave it a try..

it was so funny and great and embarrassing at the same time!Aina, amanda, audrey, amir (coincidence about all of their names beginning with A?) auditioned at the same time and the best thing was MR chirstien allowed us to sit in for the auditions! so we got to see all our lovely friends perform for this production..well..Aina and I danced together (which chirstien said sucked (this was because we did a routine which was supposed to be with 8 ppl) ) and Aina good great reviews and was accepted after she auditioned for the acting part!(good job girl!)

i sucked so bad for the acting part..i totally CANT do happy scenes by jumping up and down..but now that i think of it i should've done something else which was more ME than what they wanted..
and i did badly for the crying scene too because i kept thinking of how badly i sucked at my happy scene (damn it!) anyway i din really care bcoz i knew i couldnt act because of stage fright anyway..hahaa...just for laughs,as i said..

but aina was really good!she really cried tears and everything!Woh!damn chun!
Amanda did well too..after her singing audition, she was invited to perform for one of the crew members in his band!wow!

and Amir did well too!i tot he was really funny!this was when the Man's balls thing happened..hahaa...

damn..i'm damn scared my video gets posted on youtube!damn!i'm damn stupid bcoz i wrote that in the post and now ppl will check it out!

-thats all folks,no inspiration to write while mom's screaming at me asking me to do hsework-

ON peoples lives....

2007-11-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

stop the madness!! why are we repeating history??i just came back from a MASSIVE JAM at 12 midnight because the cops are having roadblocks everywhere!!
the government is trying to prevent the demonstration by MIC by stopping all indians from going to KL...what will that achieve?honestly, i feel that the government is not solving this problem appropriately...they are handling this the wrong way...honestly, who is the PR person for our government because he sucks!there is no use stopping people from doing a demonstration..that only shows even more that people have no human rights...we have the right to vote, to have our own opinions...why can't we have our own opinions?

V FOR VENDETA
"PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID OF THEIR GOVERNMENT, THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE AFRAID OF THEIR PEOPLE"

without people, there is no government...there is no country.

why are we fighting against each other when we look at other countries having wars? do we not learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others? do we not want peace and harmony?

why can't we go to KL?why does everyone have affected by this?why?i have wasted my petrol and my time and my life being stuck in the jam...people are losing their jobs because they get to work late..the whole country's economy will be affected by this...why can't people see that?why must we fight?aren't enough people dying already?why must we spare more lives?why can't we all live happily?what was Visit Malaysia 07 for when tourists come and see us being so uncivilized and childish?why must we hurt each other?at least America is having war against another country...we, we choose to have war with ourselves?what does that prove?our country and our people are now weak and vulnerable...what will happen to us then? i believe that REVELATIONS is approaching..i can already here the trumpets blowing, the war is coming...death is near...so why do we have to quicken the end of the world?

i have such a bad feeling about the demonstration tmr...i really do...and honestly, my intuitions are almost always right...so frenz, anyone who reads this, please don't go for the demonstration tmr..not going will not show that you're chicken or anything, but it'll show that you are smart...seriously...people are going to get hurt..another MAY 13 is going to happen!stopp this madness please! we need to show this another way...
please people...THINK!
i don't care if i get caught by ISA......all i want is peace...........i HATE POLITICS!

On the things my friends say...

2007-11-23T16:04:00.001+08:00

sometimes...wait...i take it back...MOST OF THE TIME, my friends come up with the weirdest things to say..i can't deny that i don't say weird random phrases but compared to theirs, i am what you call a NOOB..seriously..here's a list of what they have said...

SWEE WEI's weird phrases and quotes:

1)on people not finishing their food: "think of all the hungry children in africa running around naked"
*karen's question: why are they naked?
*calyn's question : already the children hungry, some more they running around?

2) "i think in advance"

3) "i laugh spontaneously"

JACQKIE'S hilarious phrases and quotes:

1) when trying to say that something is really obvious, she wanted to use a metaphor, so she said.." its as obvious as a donkey on a.....sand?" (i think she realized she said the wrong thing while the words were coming outta her mouth halfway)

*she meant to say that it was as obvious as a camel on the sand...hmm..even so...its still a weird metaphor, don't u think?

2) when i was sick, a friend of mine made a joke *thinks hard but can't remember the joke or the friend..* and i laughed so hard that it hurt my sides...so i held the right side of my stomach and said "i laugh so hard till my kidneys hurt.....wait....is this my kidney? *holding side of stomach*

Jay: *points at his heart* no, this is your kidney...

Jacqkie *replies sarcastically and with full confidence of wanting to 'bang' (ejek/insult) Jay* : HAHA HA..you think i NOT that stupid ah?

*sudden feeling of deja vu while writing this...did i write it before?hmm...who cares..*

AUDREY's recent blooper (i think she has been infected by the Jacqkie and Sweei disease, but thankfully she's not in as critical a condition as Jacqkie and Sweei is...) *fuh..* *wipes sweat of forehead*

while having a meeting...we were talking about a christmas party and our colleague asked us what the corkage is for ******** restaurant, and she wasn't sure so she said, "i think its about RM40, if i'm not too sure la..." *she meant to say 'if i'm sure la"

the other blooper is the one i've already posted in my previous blog where Mangales passes her a notebook and:

Audrey: and this is?

Mangales *very sarcastically* : a "NOTEBOOK"...

*she meant to say "and this is for?" but i don't think that would have made a difference....wahahaa...*

that's not all people...that's just a small portion of it...there's a lot more nonsensical things that my friends say but i just don't have the capacity to think or try to remember it right now...but don't worry, when i do, i'll tell you..

DENISE'S BLUNDERs

DENISE *while driving the car* *after insisting sooo much that its better that she drives instead of me because i was having a headache* : i don't usually use breaks..*GASP*

CONCLUSION: really smart people have no common sense. no no, let me rephrase that...SMART PEOPLE REALLY HAVE NO COMMON SENSE.

********************************

on a WORKing note...

audrey, denise, sweei and i have recently been giving the responsibility of organizing (with supervision of Manpreet, the head of events department) the company christmas party...

this is what happened...

the date for the proposal presentation of the party is today (23rd Nov) at 11am...

Manpreet gave us this job YESTERDAY...(22nd Nov) at 3 something pm..

wtf wei! damn kau last minute!omg!!! but we did ok la...they said that our ideas were great and that we did a good job...alls well that ends well..wahaaha...is that the rite spelling?who cares..wakaka..

*********************************

on another note...

wtf wei...police having road block everywhere!omg...come on la...at least if you're blocking the entire highway, make an effort to at least LOOK like you're doing something and not just stand there...(not even stand there..you lean on the railing somemore!)

while we're in our cars wasting petrol and according to sweei, waiting to pee...you stand (or lean) outside blocking half the highway for no utter reason at all!

even yesterday i saw you blocking half the highway but checking the motorcycle lane! wtf wei...don't you think we have places to go? more important things in life than listening to reruns of songs on the radio!

an hour of my life was wasted in the car today because of the traffic jam...i hope someone reimburses me....hmph...

ON weird questions...

2007-11-22T09:06:00.000+08:00

the company i am currently working with just organized a roadshow about contraception...it was a post event for World Contraception Day which was held on 26 September..the roadshow lastest 4 days from 15-18 nov...wow...what a hectic 4 days!i worked for 12 hours from 10am-10pm and not only that, i had to come to work with Audrey at 8:45am just to set up the booths..then we had to wait till everyone left the curve for us to put things in their courtyard..*yawn* still so tired from that event..
anyway, even though the event was very tiring, i still learnt alot from it, and one of the things i learnt alot about is the various contraceptives that are available!

well, world contraception day is about "raising awareness about unplanned or unwanted pregnancies" (i had to say this so many times throughout the whole four days...again and again and again...*sigh*)
well...i'm not going to talk about contraception...but i'm going to talk about some of the weird and sometimes very "intelligent" responses people give me when i pass them booklets or when they're playing one of our interactive games...

when passing booklets:

scenario 1:-

ME: hi, we're celebrating world contraception day..

woman pushing child in baby trolley (aka stroller) *looks at book* (or more like stares at book): well, i'm pregnant now....so....(says very angrily or sarcastically....)

ME: (wanted to say *don't think you're very happy with that,so you SHOULD have a book...) *pauses* ok thank you..

scenario 2:-

ME: hi, we're celebrating world contraception day..

white man: well, i'm married and have a child on the way...so i'm fine...

ME: *pauses* ok thank you...
*why do people think that they don't need to know about these things if they're married or pregnant? think people...its for future reference...in CASE u DON'T want to get pregnant or don't want to have anymore children!!DUH....

scenario 3:-

Audrey: hi, we're celebrating world contraception day..

white guy: excellent! *walks off without taking the book*

when playing interactive games:-

Question: something released by a male during ejaculation

Clue: S _ _ _ M

Answer: SPERM

indian guy's answer: STEAM?

ME: *very long pause* umm...no, its not steam....

the most surprising thing is to find out that there are alot of people who don't know how to play tic tac toe...(i hope YOU do...)..u know...noughts and crosses...the X and the O....u know?
omg!!it was so hard explaining people about the concept of the game..omg...

anyway...malaysians should have better english and should seriously learn to talk english!

ENGLISH people, ENGLISH!!

On meaningless conversations

2007-11-14T15:57:00.000+08:00

before i begin my blog about meaningless conversations...i must first say this...

i honestly cannot understand how people can stay on the computer for hours without end.

i have been looking at the computer everyday for almost 10 hrs while sitting in the office. honestly, my eyes are strained and i feel like the screen is melting away my brain. i literally feel the brain cell dripping..(maybe my ear will start dripping liquid - brain liquid) how can people look at the computer for hours and hours and find something interesting to do. what the hell? all i know to do on the computer is to go on facebook, read my frenz blogs, write in my blog and search for stuff. THAT'S IT! other people go on Youtube and find things to watch..omg i would rather watch and sleep on my bed rather than look at a damn computer screen for hours...i can't even watch tv for so many hours..i NEED HUMAN CONTACT. I NEED HUMAN COMMUNICATION. I NEED TO LOOK AT HUMANS. i feel like poking out my eyeballs and washing them! bleddy hell!

to my love: i miss you like crazy, i wish u were here so that i could be with you, rest on your bosom and sleep with you forever. i wish that i could hold you close to me to keep me warm..i wish that i could hug you and never let you go. i wish that my heart did not ache missing you so much..i want you...i want you so bad..i want to caress you and touch your soft, comfortable skin...oh my love: my pillow, my bed...i miss you like crazy...

********

today i had a great meaningless conversation with my friends. i remembered friend of a friend who played 'i never' a fun drinking game where people's secrets can be revealed by lots of liquor and a big mouth and the 'keinginan' to feel unique...he said "i have never been fisted before"

*note: fisted is to put your whole fist into another person's asshole or butthole
when i told them that i suddenly remembered that guy's statement, our minds started to wander and our imaginative brains began to draw weird images..

me (thinking): how can someone put a whole fist into someone else's ass? WHY would someone do it? WHY would someone want it to be done to them!!mother! that would hurt!want to take a friggin big piece of shit outta ur ass aso muz push like crazy n hurt so bad...want ppl to actually put their whole friggin hand in there?!!!wtf!hmm...wonder how they do it?

denise (talking): they usually put 3 fingers wan...*sounding so experienced*
*makes hand gestures....shows closed fist then opens them*

kerry: *shocked* WHY WOULD SOMEONE WANT TO OPEN THEIR FIST WHEN THEIR HAND IS UP THE PERSON'S BUTT?!!

after a few moments of more imagining...

denise: imagine getting footed...

kerry:imagine if the fella's leg size 11?

denise: good wat...long...

kerry:wide aso ok!

....*sighs to self while writing this blog...*

*********

another meaningless conversation...

denise: how long is 6 inches anyway?*shows hand gestures,figuring out the size..measuring..* like this?

kerry: no no...smaller...

denise: quite short rite?

kerry: how big do you want it to be?

denise: not big...long...hmm *ponders* *makes hand gestures...elongates measurement...measuring nine fingers with left and right index finger* (picture it in ur head...)
then about 9 - 11 inches?

kerry: omg 6 inches edi so long...

sweei: that's like the size of a clown's foot wei..

kerry, denise, audrey *momentary silence* then bursts out laughing...

kerry: of all things you think about clown's feet!

sweei: yeah ma because clown's feet all big wan mah...

kerry: yeah but there are alot of other more logical things that are long ok...

sweei: yeah but because.....

kerry *cuts in*: because denise said something about getting footed right?

sweei *pauses a moment*:.....yeah! yeah! because she said that..

kerry: hmm...you just used my idea because its more logical right? you wanted to say something else right?

sweei: um....no....i...

kerry *cuts in*: i should have let u say wat u wanted to say 1st...

*note: we were all talking about this while having lunch..guess that proves that we don't have weak stomachs..

WHAAHAHAHAA...OMG!!FRIENDS...

********
another scenario.....

while walking back to the office...crossing the road...(there are cones in the middle of the road used a a divider...there are chains connected to the cones...)

audrey calls me and tells me about another confusing thing sweei said...

audrey: kerry kerry, you know what sweei said? she said..."so thursday is the same day as friday?"

*unfortunately i understood what sweei meant..anyone else reading this would be just as confused by audrey*..you know why unfortunately?because i understand most of the nonsense that comes outta her mouth (dun be angry sweei...its just a joke..)

*note: they were talking about a roadshow event audrey and i were going to on thursday,friday,saturday and sunday...

what audrey thought sweei said:
thursday = friday

what sweei meant:
the event on friday will start and finish the same time as thursday...hence..."thursday is the same day as friday.."

while audrey was about to tell me what sweei said, she crossed over the chain and looked at me, then turned around to look at the road....and there was a lorry! (that almost hit her btw...it would have if it wasn't driving so slowly...)

kerry *looking at sweei AFTER crossing the road*: see sweei...talking to you can kill people...talking to you is DEADLY....

sweei..*sweat* -.-"

whahahahaaa...
these are my friends....

*********

something that just happened while writing this:

mangales, the person in charge of us...just came and passed all of us notebooks..she passed one to sweei then walked to audrey (who sits opposite me) and hands her the notebook...

audrey: what's this?

mangales: a NOTEBOOK *very sarcastically*

whaahahaha!!! sweei laughed i guess because audrey alwiz teases her about being blur and all that and finally audrey does something silly too...whaaha...payback's a bitch huh, audrey? whahaaa...
*btw sweei juz msg me juz after that happened and said "waahahaa...finally can BANG her.."*
whahaaaa..am i not supposed to say that sweei?sorrreee..but its juz too funny to leave out!

THIS IS MY LIFE.............EVERYDAY!

AND I LOVE IT!

(except the looking at the computer for hrs part of my life...)

*events happened as written in this blog did not go EXACTLY like how i wrote it..sorry la denise and audrey i can't remember everything exactly as good as YOU!ish ish...

on editing pictures

2007-11-13T15:43:00.001+08:00

today.....was a long day....here i am again sitting in the office, but this time, not tired from lack of sleep but tired from editing pictures...my task was to edit 10 pictures and 10 words using PAINT...not photoshop...because the task i had done at home with photoshop had no background, and there is no photoshop in this office...*sob sob*...imagine editing photos, resizing them while keeping their resolution high and everything with PAINT!mother!!!*curses in multiple languages unknown to human kind*

1st i had to just print screen them while they're zoomed in then cut them...then, i had to resize them 'within' 5 inches...then...i had to make them all the same size by making their backgrounds ALL 5INCHES! zomg!!!!*pants due to frustration and irritatingness and tiredness of using paint *curses again in unknown language*...

after sitting in the office for 8 hrs (while having 2 hrs break - one because my supervisor and i had to shift places from one corner of the wall to the other....its about 5 feet apart (the distance) - and the other is having lunch break (to which my beautiful frenz n i decided that 9 hrs in the office is not enough that we have to hv lunch IN THE OFFICE as well..we ate sandwiches and lots of murukku, indian sweets and jacobs biscuits..well..not we...denise and audrey actually..i just ate my WHOLE can of tuna...*yumyum* but *full full*..) i finally finished the whole thing...after reediting it again and again and again...omg i tell u..damn frustrating..
not the working part..the fact-that-PAINT-fucking-sucks part....ISH!

on a lighter note..

i went to kfc and saw the meterosexual side of shaneil...he finished eating and washed his hands, then he sat back in his seat and said "ewwwww....*looks at hands* still so sticky...yuck yuck..
my reaction...*sweat*=.="

also, i saw my baby after so long of not seeing him...yay...but only for like half an hour...ish..
went back and plopped on the bed after that...bleddy hell...tired...

on editing pictures

2007-11-13T15:43:00.000+08:00

on the first day of internship...

2007-11-12T14:49:00.000+08:00

today...i woke up at 5:45am...(okay i pressed the snooze button and woke up at 6am...)
dressed up in my new 'intern' clothes, heard a horn...didn't care....heard my mom calling, "hey!she here edi la!"...rushed downstairs with my new BALALACA peep toe, black metallic shoes with a golden buckle in front (which hurt on only my right leg, made me feel that my right leg was bigger than my left) and entered audrey's car...we talked and talked and went on the federal highway where we talked and talked some more...we talked so much until audrey got distracted and didn't realize that the car in front of her had breaked until i said (or maybe shouted *gasp*) "break..break...break now..i mean...break NOW!"..then we turned up to the kononnya 'penang' bridge (my mom calls it that) or a.k.a the motorolla bridge and picked denise up while a shaggy looking shaneil with boxer shorts and a t-shirt said bye to her...then we drove again and reached the oh-so-famously-expensive phileo damansara building and cursed at the parking architecture and bad spelling of malaysians (the parking goes block A, B, C, E,F, G, D....*urgh*) and reached our new workplace at 7:30A.M.

we met up with swee wei and went into office at 8.30A.M. where we waited to be allocated to our seats...we sat at our designated desks and the IT person, joey, played with our computers and put our names and passwords in that really made me feel like an employee there! joey also thought us how to use the printer,fax,scan and photostat stuff...

then we waited and waited, fondling with the computer till 10.50A.M where we were called into the conference/board room to have a briefing...we were told about cleanliness, telephone calls, door bell ringing and our job as interns by Mangales...a weird part of the conversation was...

Mangales: here, take these and sign them...
Denise: *pauses*, signs paper, then says: umm...is there a particular format for writing....
(at this exact moment, i thought, "good question!she's gonna ask about format for press release or proposals!")
Denise:for writing the DATE?
kerry(and i think everyone else in the room): *sweat* *sighs* *looks weirdly at denise's question* *confused*

there, we also met with the MD, Felix who's a hot swiss guy with a french/german accent (he has blue eyes and blonde hair)..then, Mangales introduced us to everyone in the building...then manpreet emailed us to read about the clients....and we rread and read till lunch time....then we went for lunch in little chino....then we went back to the office, then i read and read everything in the whole folder...then i looked at my facebook, then i looked at my blog...then i wrote in my blog...then i am still writing in my blog....wonder what i'll do next?

on how women shop.....

2007-11-12T14:25:00.000+08:00

it all began at 10 something this morning...i woke up at 9 A.M. (i was actually supposed to wake up at 7A.M. to watch grey's anatomy but i missed it!dang!) just to wash the porch bcoz denise and shaneil were coming down to klang to buy formal clothes for internship...i was a little late bcoz they all wanted to go shopping at 11 and i had not started washing the porch yet! so i rushed to bathe my dog,wash the porch and wash my mom's car...when i was almost done, audrey msged me and told me not to rush because denise and shaneil were gonna be late...hmph...anyway...audrey was going to drive so she picked me up and then picked denise and shaneil from the train station...
OMG!audrey was an ok driver just that she was quite slow at breaking...*gasp* and scared the hell outta me quite a few times...we went to eat bak kut teh bcoz shaneil hadn't eaten that for 3 yrs..we went to a bakkutteh shop behind klang parade and ate delicious *yumYum* bakkutteh...
then, denise drove the car into klang parade and......*sigh* attempted to park the car...ATTEMPTED because she almost hit the pillar twice!(she reversed d wrong way n instead of turning away from the pillar,she turned into the pillar....TWICE!)omg...shaneil's opinion on her driving was....(i defended your driving even when i nv sat in ur car before....*sigh*...u disappoint me)
then we went on what i thought was the shopping of a lifetime! (and not in a good way!) we first went to reject shop and found some nice cheap clothes...we didn't buy them though because we thought there would be better clothes elsewhere within klang parade(kp) so....we went to one shop, went out with nothing, went to another shop,went out with nothing....and another,and another,and another,and another....and guess what? we went out with nothing!!! omg! for all you klang ppl, i know you'd disbelieve when i tell you that we took 5 hrs shopping in kp!!!5 FRIGGIN HRS and we bought NOTHING! (*sigh* women...) well, THEY bought nothing....omg...(except starbucks coffee...hmm...)i bought a blouse and a pair of pants though...
then we went on to jusco (jj) and shopped there...i got split up from them because i followed Fiq's car...i went there, tried on some clothes and bought a skirt, another pants, and a blouse...
i rili dunno what audrey,denise and shaneil did because i think they only bought a few stuff...
the shopping mania ended with me rushing to buy a nice pair of shoes for only RM24.95! hahaa...then we went to audrey's house for dinner and ate the char siew her dad cooked with delicious dumplings or something that looked like dumplings...SEDAP! then audrey was supposed to fetch me home and denise and shaneil to the train station....

all i can say is...................AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
so friggin scary!!!!!!!!!!shaneil actually screamed (which at 1st i thought he did it to scare the shit outta me, which he achieved, but later i found out he was really scared shitless too!!)

*sigh*.........i came home safely...

now...guess what i'm doing?i'm at the office as an intern writing this blog....i've done everything they told me to do...now i'm waiting....waiting waiting for something to do.....................................
giler babi expensive this place...parking is RM20plus a day and food is MAHAL!!

On what college students do once they have their freedom PART 3

2007-11-11T03:54:00.000+08:00

nov 8, 10 sumting A.M...

after sleeping for oni 4 hours, i woke up after realizing that all my frenz were already awake and we all got ready to go to pyramid because aud wanted to buy some clothes for clubbing...*yawn*

sweei fetched denise,shaneil,carol,aud n i to pyramid and while the others went to kim gary's for bfast, carol n i roamed around pyramid looking for handycraft stuff for carol's project.....*gasping for breath* (carol ran around finding stuff because she was hungry and wanted to quickly finish so she could eat....)

after alot of walking around and eating, we WALKED back to carol's place from pyramid....
i wanted to sleep for a while but couldn't so i helped carol with her project and sadly DID NOT REST AT ALL!!!! *yawn*

nov 8, 8something at night....

we all met up at carol's place and left for kl...
sweei,jacqkie,karen,aud n i went in sweei's car while carol,denise,shaneil and cheryn went in beh's car....
we met up in d mamak in front of atrium and ate dinner and decided to check out atrium as they had buy one free one bottle before 10...
sadly,when beh n i went to atrium,we were TWO MINUTES LATE and the offer was gone,but we got another offer of 5 gals free one bottle....bacardi lemon again!wheeeeee....

ATRIUM WAS FRIGGIN EMPTY THE WHOLE NIGHT!
wow........deepavali really made a difference man....ish ish...no one was there even though kononnya an event was happening there....
we even went to maison around 11something....and IT WAS EMPTY THERE TOO!no one was dancing!not even one person...heck even the DJ wasn't there yet!wtf!!

we went back to atrium and had a few drinks.....
i was sooooo tired i got a headache...*dizzy*
shaneil was gone after a while..
jacqkie was also damn high....
cheryn was abit tipsy...or maybe she was too excited...i can't tell the difference..hehee..
everyone else was sober....
pity karen...1st time clubbing....zzzzz.....boring night in atrium...
we went home around 2 something because shaneil was too gone edi.....*sigh*

denise drove sweei's car because she scared i couldn't drive even though i was already ok by that time....
a lil info on how denise drove....
she said "she doesn't usually use breaks" *gasp*
so....you make your own opinions on that la....
(oh and only when she was driving halfway was she nice enough to tell us that she didn't bring her license... *GASP!!!!!!!*)

anyway,aud,karen n i overnight in sweei's hse n even there we didn't sleep straight away..we talked till about 5 sumtin A.M.... (during this time i was calling my bastard bf who didn inform me of anytin while he was in ipoh till 3sumtin A.M. and din answer my calls d whole night (neither did his frenz) which scared the hell outta me....dun worry d bastard was fine...juz asleep..arse!)
we woke up at around 11 sumtin the next day and went home after that....

CONCLUSION:
1)this is how my frenz n i decided to cramp everything in two days because we oni had four days of holidays before our internship started...
2)do NOT go clubbing during deepavali
3)do NOT let ppl who "don't usually use breaks" AND forget to bring license drive anymore
4)do not give communication students only a few days of holidays or this is what will happen

5)i was awake:

from Nov 6, 3P.M till Nov 9, 12P.M = 82 hrs....

how much i slept? ONLY 11 HRS!!!!

this is MY LIFE and.......I LOVE IT!!!

lots of love to beh,carol,denise,shaneil,aud,sweei,jacqkie,karen for making my holiday (even if its a short one) a BLAST! and....LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!!!

love u guys so so much!thanks a lot! especially sweei for driving us around everywhere and beh too!
and carol for letting us stay and destroy her place and lending me her baju...

thanks denise for spending me in lagoon!

p/s:have fun at internship!

i shall post up all the photos i took with carol's camera as well as the photos of our rendezvous soon..

On what college students do once they have their freedom PART 2

2007-11-11T03:20:00.000+08:00

nov 7, around 6pm...

we went back from lagoon and plopped on the beds and sofas available because we were too damn tired...but dang it..we have to get ready to go out for dinner! while beh n carol went to pasar malam and steamboat in cheras, aud,sweei,denise,shaneil and i had to accompany jacqkie to pizza uno in taipan because lil miss J wanted to spend time with her baby at kar weng's bday party (which the rest of us weren't invited to..not offended or anything..dun worry kar weng..)

so we had to bathe even though we were reluctant to (dirty ppl) and left around 7:30pm...

nov 7, around 8pm....

we reached pizza uno and got our own table in pizza uno while jacqkie went for kar weng's party and guess wat??denise,shaneil,sweei,aud and i shared 2 large pizzas,one soup,one fettucini pasta,one fried calamari,one tiramisu,one stickydate pudding,and one more dessert amongst ourselves which came up to RM150plus!omg!so expensive wei!denise and shaneil were so nice to share their dishes with us and still pay for most of it.....thanks again you two! we had a great time there talking about stuff from religion to racism to attempts at tricking jacqkie that we left her in pizza uno (which didn't work)...we left full and satisfied around 10 sumtin...

nov 7,around 11pm...

we went back to carol's place to have our drinking party..this time oni beh,denise,sweei,jacqkie,shaneil,carol,aud and i were at carol's place...carol thought us the drinking game which is where all the cards are arranged into two circles,one big one surrounding the smaller one (looks something like a target)..the game is to take turns to pick a card and the rules are a lil like this:

red cards: anyone that picks a red card has to drink the amount that is on the red card (if u get a red 7,u hv to drink 7 shots,or sips)

black cards:anyone that picks this card can ask someone to drink the amount that is on the card or divide amongst a few ppl

Queens: there is a cup in d middle of the circle used for these cards. the person who gets this card will fill the cup wit as much liquor as they want and the person who gets the last queen card has to down everything in this cup.

kings: anyone who gets this card has to start a rhyming game where the person says a word and the next person has to say something that rhymes with that word...if someone rhymes wrongly,repeats a word or is too slow, the hv to drink a shot...

jacks:anyone who gets this card gets one toilet break (in this game no one is allowed toilet breaks except the person holding jacks)..

results of the game:

sweei: stopped halfway because she got allergic to the kahlua...she had red patches all over her body and looked like a cow....

jacqkie: hated the taste of kahlua mixed with milk because she hated milk...and maybe she hated kahlua too...gave up and plopped on the bed beside the now diseased sweei....

audrey: was fine all the way even though she was the one who got the last queen and hot to down half a glass of hard liquor....till i told her to stand up.....(because oni if she moved she can feel the effects of the alcohol) and i was right...
she felt the liquor...
she felt the high....
she felt the sofa...
she felt the bucket...
she felt the puke....
she.....
went kuku for a while and layaned herself.... :

asked who made alcohol (shaneil said george wahington)

realized she drew better drunk

almost kicked the iron from the ironing board

denise: didn't drink at all and was too busy taking candid photos of everyone...took photos of sweei's diseased body....took care of the-now-drunk aud...

shaneil:layaned audrey for a while....then layaned his guitar the whole night...

carol:gave up after seeing everyone getting high and played computer...

beh:fell asleep because too boring or too tired...i dunno...slept through the vomiting even though the whole place stank of puke (hmm...wonder how he could not smell the puke) ...left at about 5A.M...

me: was sad that i didn't get high and started taking pics of everyone....stopped a while because couldn't stand the smell of puke (i easily regurgitate)

after that,everyone slept except me n carol......we chit chatted till about 5 something A.M. ...

-to be continued-

On what college students do once they have their freedom

2007-11-11T02:40:00.000+08:00

tuesday night,Nov 6.

i picked up Fiq and we had a safe drive to subang parade from the so-fucking-jammed-up-Klang-even-though-it-was-already-8pm! to celebrate the beautiful, sexy miss (or now MRS) denise chhoa teng nee's bday in TGIF...there,we met up with denise,shaniel,pei (shaneil's sis-in-law?),daren,jacqkie,audrey,n ash (hey ur ere too!). Fiq's fren Simon came too...almost all of us had burgers as it was the cheapest thing on the menu..and yay! ais kosong was free there!wahaha..

well,after a lot of eating n dipping into Ash's JD sos, denise finally had the oh-so-famous TGIF bday sing song sang to her! she had to stand up on her chair while wearing a skirt and was FORCED to sing with a freaking huge pepper (shaker?) that looked like a huge dild....well...let me leave that part out...anyway, Aud asked her to sing 'killing me softly' and she sang it beautifully with her freaking saprano voice that can go to a key i can never ever reach with my own voice...

after that came the bday song..."i don't know what i've been told,someone's getting freaking old!" whahaaa...

den she was forced to blow her cake (only one piece of cake la kesian her...she even shared it wit all of us!) while standing up there...i rmb the waiter telling shaneil after she blew the cake that denise was a very good blower! whahahaa..you go girl!

mind you we still had IMC (issues in media content) the next day which i did not even study for at all! but i still stayed there till bout 10:30 lo..

Nov 7,early early in d morning....

i went home and watched tv (even though i hadn't touched my notes) and only at 1 something did i actually read unit 1..wahahaa..fail lo..

i didn't sleep at all and continued studying till the wee hours of the morning...heck..i studied till there wasn't anymore wee in the morning anymore!

i went to college, took the exam at 9am.....den..............came out and was like........exams are over!!!!

yay!!!!!

around 11 something A.M.,

after that...my beautiful frenz sudden suggestion to go to sunway lagoon during denise's party was unsure yet so we sat in our beloved college mamak to discuss our plans...(and i tell u...we ALWIZ plan but NEVER make decisions!)...so since everyone was going to lagoon...i had to choose whether i was going to ipoh with Fiq or go lagoon with them or go pyramid with Fiq if he doesn't go to Ipoh...wtf wei!i'm in a much worst position than all my frenz!!!

anyway i chose to go to lagoon which pissed Fiq off and made him go to ipoh...

we went to carol's hse to prepare and find swimsuits...(Aud wore a very very SEXY bikini!ish i wish i had d confidence to wear bikini like carol n aud...) and then....

sweei,aud,jacqkie,carol,denise,shaneil,beh,derrick,fina,and i went to lagoon and paid RM36 for both wet n dry park...(thx denise for belanjaing me!)

first we all went to the dry park to go on some rides which carol and sweei were freaking scared of...one was the pirate ship thingy that went 180 degrees...oni aud,beh,jacqkie,denise and shaneil dared to ride it and it was sooooo funny because jacqkie was screaming like a crazy woman while aud was complaining about her boobs being squished by the safety (belt?)..wahahahaa...

then we went on the tomahawk which was my fav ride because i'm scared shitless of it (the last time i went on it the safety thing unclicked and loosened a lil which scared the hell outta me)...i sat beside jacqkie and again...it was so funny i could not even scream! while the ride had only swung about 45 degrees, jacqkie was like...."like that only AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!OMG OMG OMG OMG MAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

till the whole ride was over!!!HAHHAAHHAHAHA....seriously...the amount of times she said OMG i think God would have came down from heaven and said "WHAT!!"

then we went for a ride i think was called buffalo bill's ride blablabla (which i tot was buffalo balls at first) which was a ride where u sit on a log and go up a slope and freefall down (something like a rollercoaster)...that too was funny because this time we forced sweei to ride it even though she was afraid of these kinds of rides....so jacqkie sat in front of the log,i sat in d middle and sweei sat behind me (so she can hold me or squeeze me if she gets too scared)...it was hilarious because she was making some weird sounds which i could not distinguish if she was scared or excited..wahaha...

after a few more rides (one which jacqkie almost fell into d water because she was distracted by shaneil asking her if the ride had vibrations anot)....we all headed to the wet park..

after a long day of swimming, dipping in the water, and swinging our hair like baywatch to do some kononnya sexy shit, we all headed out around 5 something and realized we all got sunburnt...(bleddy hell,carol said i look like a zebra because i'm 2 toned now!)

-to be continued-

pain to hard to bear...

2007-11-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

you see...you alwiz walk away...i never do that to you...
whenever we fight,even when i get frustrated with you,i never walk away..when we fight so badly,i never turn off the phone,i never DON'T answer ur calls and i never DON'T reply ur msges..even when i don't want to talk to u,even when listening to ur voice breaks my heart into pieces,i still answer...i sacrifice so much...all my pain...all the times when u hurt me...soooo bad that i sometimes i even feel that life's not worth it...-yes..i do feel it sometimes..-
you don't get it do you?i don't want luxuries or money..i juz want the little things..i'm not like other gals who want jewelery and riches,i juz want you to show me...show me that i'm actually someone in ur life..that i'm actually someone important to u..that i'm actually special..am i?when i ask u..u can't even tell me..why...why u love me..and when i cry,you don't comfort me...instead u sigh as though i hv irritated u..as though i'm bothering ur oh-so-perfect life..
i know that i hv hurt u juz as much..
but i hv never walked away..to know that you feel so frustrated with me tat u can't even talk to me makes me feel.........
u used to walk all the way to my hse to see me...
take up extra tuition juz to be with me..
now..
its so troublesome for u to even come see me..for u to even send a virtual gift..
but u can send many to other people..
u said i'm important..
so where am i in ur list?
number 25 or lower?
i wish i knew where i stand in ur life..
i wish i wasn't so totally in love with u..
i wish i wouldn't feel so hurt..
i wish i couldn't feel..

On women getting raped

2007-10-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

i watched criminal minds the other day (criminal minds is sooooo COOL! i love tat show!) and it was an episode about a woman serial killer who follows jack the ripper's killing style...and she finds wandering men (men who go bar hopping and look for women in groups of 2-3) and u know y she started killing these men?

because one day she was at a bar wit a friend of hers and of course, women who go to bars alwiz wear clothes that would attract men or juz to get some attention..so she got 2 men's attention and they brought her to the second floor of the bar and there,they raped her. she was screaming and ppl downstairs heard her but no one did anytin.

after that, the police came bcoz someon complained about a 'disturbance' at the bar..2 policemen (partners) went to check it out and the 1st policeman didn't believe the woman bcoz..

1) he said the outfit she wore showed that she was ASKING for it

2) he knew one of the boys (who raped her) and said tat he was a good boy who didn't need tis kind of nonsense in his profile.

the second officer believed the girl.

so why am i saying this?

because..after that show..i told my mom (she was watching it wit me) tat i SERIOUSLY DISAGREE that women DESERVE to be RAPED.

i believe tat even if a woman walks around naked in public, she DOES NOT DESERVE to be raped.

and my mom argued tat some women wear obscene and revealing clothes that shows tat they were asking for it..

but NO! i said...some women juz wear revealing clothes bcoz they tink and feel tat they look awesome in it! and even if some DO wear revealing clothes to attract attention..tat still doesn mean tat they DESERVE to be raped!

i rili feel strongly about tis and seriously disagree tat women deserve to be raped..
like audrey said..watever they 'ask' for when they wear attract attention is wit consent..and RAPE is with NO consent!

do u agree wit me?give ur opinions...

one CRAZY nite!

2007-10-13T12:34:00.000+08:00

well..it all began with a mundane day at college where we went for class till 3pm..then the fun began..we were supposed to celebrate swee wei and karen's bday on 11th october...so..swee wei, audrey, karen and i:

3:00pm - 4:15pm = waited for taylor's bus to come to get a FREE ride to subang parade

4:15 - 5:00pm = lepak in subang parade dessert corner till swee wei's dad came to pick us up..

5:00pm - 7:30pm =lepak and got ready to go subang parade for dinner

8:00pm - 9:00pm = met up wit calyn, denise, paul, and caroline chia in subang parade's dave's deli

after that....

sadly, karen could not follow us clubbing so only audrey, swee wei, jacqkie, caroline chia and i went clubbing..
we reached asian heritage row and tried to find free parkin but as it was ladies night, there was obviously NO free parking..so instead we decided to park on jalan yap ah shak for RM10, and since it was 5 of us gals, we divided it evenly so each of us oni paid RM2 for parking..
we decided to check out atrium as the last time i went, they said that if u go there b4 10pm and buy a bottle, you get one free..event though by the time we reached there it was edi passed 10, we decided to check it out anyway as the atmosphere was cool there (my opinion anyway)

YOU KNOW WHAT?
i went to the front desk to ask if cover charge was free for guys (bcoz caroline lim and her guy frenz wanted to join us) and what the bouncer said was "you gals are lucky bcoz you came just in time - if 5 gals come b4 11pm, you get a free bottle".. and guess WHAT? we got NGAM NGAM 5 GALS!!

omg we were so lucky!so we went in with a FREE bottle of Bacardi Lemon (although it was only 70ml, it was still FREE!) so we drank and drank..hehe..
jacqkie told me to get the bday gal (sweei) drunk..so i did..hheehe..made her take a sip of hard liquor, but since she could not take it, i put abit of coke in it and told her to down it and tat i'll down one with her..(but she only downed HALF!while i drank the whole thing!damn u sweei!) anyway..she got rili tipsy and high..wwahahaha..got abit crazy after tat...she was so cute when dancing!! btw there was no one on the dance floor so oni the 5 of us gals were dancing in the middle of the dance floor layaning ourselves..whahahaa...it was fun though..and surprisingly, jacqkie wasn't afraid to 'layan diri' with us! during tat time my fren carol lim and her guy fren 'charles' met us there..wah we were like VIP there wei..i told the bouncer tat my frenz might be coming..and he said tat i din hv to wait for my frenz and tat they juz had to tel my name and the bouncer would bring them to my table..whahha..(btw the bouncer's name was HANIF..and when i saw he he looked so familiar..turned out he was an XFresh curiser who came to my college to be an MC once..hehe..)

anyway, since sweei and i nv went to maison, we decided to check tat place out for a while..and since carol lim went there alot, she decided to be our 'tour guide' for tat nite..she brought sweei, aud and i to maison and brouht us in..(wahaha ladies night free entry!) and it was cool! we checked out the whole area and after tat, we danced a little and apparently, two guys wanted to dance wit sweei (tapi x dilayan..kesian..i guess they din realize how high she was..) there were abit too many chinese guys there..i terserempak with victor (hi vic!) there too...anyway, after a while, we decided to leave as we din want to leave jacqkie and carol chia alone and with the drinks..wahaha juz jk guys! as we were walking out of maison, we saw Adam C the VJ for 8tv (the 'now high' sweei gave him a high 5!omg!) as well as Haris Iskandar(is tat his name?man..i rili dunno celebs!) which sweei saw and pointed right in his face..and i mean right-in-his-face-almost-poking-him-in-the-eye!

we went back to atrium and drank summo...and danced summo..omg! you shud see sweei dancing!she was making rounds around the dance floor and couldn't stay on one spot..she pulled carol chia's blouse ribbon open and almost pulled her skirt down too! she even hugged me so tightly from behind that i almost choked to death! then suddenly, when i tol her to sit down and rest abit, she looked at her blouse (a black baby lolita) and twirled around to make her blouse twirl like a skirt! omg it was so funny! and she did a few weird and crazy moves too! it was sooooo funny u shud've been there! we couldn't keep her still as she kept dancing around all of us..and i mean ALL of US!

syafiq, logesh and chacko joined us after that and we also met up with edmund and kamini(my juniors) and her bunch of frenz..chacko was fun and logesh too...but syafiq as usual din dance alot..hmph..

i tink i danced continuously for almost 2 hours man! i only stopped for a few mins when i was tired and continued dancing again and again with everyone! jacqkie was damn popular tat nite wei!so many guys wanted to tok and dance with her..even the ambassador of the club!sadly,not alot of hot guys there..there was a cute white guy but he danced abit weird..

after a few nites of clubbing, i have concluded tat:

1) i absolutely LOVE clubbing!

2)i'm too broke to make it a lifestyle

3)i wish i had money,my own car, and no curfew!

4)guys nowadays can't dance to save their life! (not all guys though..but the ones that can are so rare and so hard to find!)

5)gals shud NOT take or accept drinks from random guys even though they've tried it beforehand! and i'm saying this specifically to someone! (unless u know them well enuf or trust them with ur life!)

6)i want to go maison next!anyone care to join me?

7)atrium is soooo cool!!!its atmosphere is sophisticated and classy, nice layout of the club, cool seating (couches) and tables, reasonable price for liquor (except beer..quite mahal) and has two floors! - downstairs: RnB, usptairs: half house..which i tink no other club has..so its like 2 in one! and contrary to what my frenz and i tot, its not a new club..i saw d club's name in juice mag (but it stated tat atrium was a bar, not a club..i guess tat's wat's changed..) and the bouncer (Hanif) and workers are quite friendly and service is good! (chewah..like promoter for tat club oni..)

anyway, i love that place! not alot of ppl goes there though...but tis is my opinion...mayb other days its packed..anyway frenz...please check tat place out!it RAWKS!

btw..just to let u guys know..

weds and thurs in atrium: any 5 gals who come b4 11pm gets a free bottle but guys are strictly NOT allowed to drink the free bottle

fridays in atirum: buy 1 bottle free 1 bottle b4 10pm..

there is NO cover charge there..

anyway...we chaoed at 3pm and went to mamak near jackqie's hse and after tat aud and i went to sleepover in sweei's hse..the end..

overall,it was a rili chun nite for me and for sweei, i hope she had lotsa fun since tis was kinda like her bday party..love u sweei!!hope u were HAPPY~

p/s: we only spent RM2 each (for parking) the whole night..(excluding mamak)

a few pics of that nite (jackqie's camera was too friggin big to go clubbing so we used her camera phone instead..)

the sexy mamas in atrium(excluding me)

from left:caroline chia,swee wei,audrey,jacqkie,me and caroline lim

sweet jacqkie(right) and sweei (d bday gal) (left)

the now-so-tipsy sweei(left) with tired-from-dancing-too-much audrey(right)

from left:caroline chia, me,sweei and jacqkie (wat's she doing?syok sendiri..whaaha)

after a long nite of non-stop dancing...

from left:audrey,caroline chia sweei and jacqkie

random head above caroline chia and audrey....me...

all i want...

2007-09-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

all i want is a camera..
to take pics of things that i love to see..
to take pics of ppl i love to look at..
to take pics of the beauty around me..
that makes me go on another day..

all i want is a camera..
to make life that moves so fast still..for just a moment..
to enjoy in the wonders that God has created..
and to make all those moments memorable..
because i'm just so forgetful..

all i want is a camera..
to freeze time, a happier time..
so that when times are bad,
i can look at the things that made my life worthwhile..

all i want is a camera..
to take pictures of friends and with friends..
for they are so precious to me..
for i know how it feels,to lose a friend and have no pics to remind me of the times i spent with her..
the times when we were smiling and laughing..i want them all back..i want to remember but i can't..because i have no pictures..

all i want is a camera..
to remember the love that life brings me..
the life that it breathes into my soul with the oh so many colors the world possesses..

i don't care if i look ugly on camera..
i love candid pictures..
i love taking pictures..
because i know..there will come a time..
when i won't be able to remember..
or when i won't be able to see..

u don't know how much i want a camera..

omg its been so friggin long since i've blogged!

2007-09-09T13:46:00.000+08:00

as i said...OMG...whahaa...u know what..its been so hectic that i had no time at all to update my blog..(n i'm kinda lazy too..haha..anyway..here's a few updates..i've become the head of events department for my cpm project...project PHUNK (which u all must must must support!) and we've so far done garage sales, teddy bear sales, a roadshow in Celebrity Fitness (thx so much for ur support!) and the 'heal the heart' where u stick plasters on a big cardboard heart to show ur support..(sounds icky?actually its really cool..)

and we are going to have another garage sale on the 11th and 12th of September in TCSJ main campus...as well as our official launch in TCPJ Auditorium on the 19th of sept...and a hotdog eating competition on the 19th as well!!love to eat?come join!it's only RM5 per entry and there are some cool prizes to win!

here are some pics of the event...

Celebrity Fitness PHUNKshow on 29th August

more pics of the roadshow

more pics on the roadshow..

garage sale in TCPJ..

garage sale in TCPJ

Lights, Cameras, Camwhores!

2007-07-01T02:56:00.000+08:00

sleepy sleepy... its almost 2am and we're beginning to doze off as we wait outside KL Sentral..feeling like backpackers, or beggars? hmmmm...Karen!you're supposed to be sleeping! ish..

GO GO power rangers!er..not so powery than bored out of our mind as we wait all ALONE for Audrey's mom to pick us up from KL Sentral because the government suddenly decided to stop all trains from Bukit Jalil Stadium just to make us civilians suffer a hefty sum for taxi fees (40bucks!)

we didn't get the VIP tickets like Karen and Audrey did..we were left with the NORMAL fans..haha..more camwhoring as the concert started late..noticed that it wasn't a cold night as i'm drenched in sweat..(can't really see in this pic though..)

look at that cute,hot drummer pouting his lips at us..haha..what's his name again?ahh..doesn't matter..

even MORE camwhoring! (what do you expect..3hours of waiting in line waiting..) At this exact moment, a little boy's trying to cut into our line quietly but we were very careful not to let him!

more camwhoring..

from left: Karen, Audrey, me and Swee Wei doing abit of camwhoring while waiting for Good Charlotte to come to Subang Parade for an autograph session...sadly they could only autograph their new album so only Audrey got their signature..and we waited for almost 3 hours!!

suicidal...?

2007-06-28T03:16:00.000+08:00

It hurts so much to know that the person you'd sacrifice everything for won't sacrifice anything for you..seeing so many movies, hearing so many stories, i always knew love was special..but now..love seems like the farthest thing in the world i can achieve..i always try to make people feel special..telling them how important they are,showing them how much i care..yet when it comes to my own life,i feel nothing but pain..do i deserve love at all?am i worth anything?because i feel as though i deserve all the pain and heartache..and when i thought i had found someone who i actually believed who tot i was special,again,i was fooled.i am nothing but a useless,meaningless person in this world,wandering about awaiting my time to desolve from the face of the earth..yet i think of my life as precious,because God gave it to me..not because it is important to me..i have never felt this much pain before..it feels like someone cut open my chest with a small knife slowly so i would feel the pain,and instead of ripping my heart out,he decides to cut it strip by strip,letting the blood flow out slowly,then stabbing it vigorously until there is no more beat and no more heart.i have never felt this kind of pain before - when the thought of death seemed much easier then breathing..i want to SCREAM but i can't..someone would hear me..i want to cry but i can't..someone would hear me..i can't do anything but keep silent..letting the pain boil inside of me like a volcano waiting to erupt..maybe i could take drugs and make the pain go away for a while..but that won't do anything..what do i do?what can i do but sit at home,listening to my parents shout at me,putting more salt on the wound..i can't escape..i can't runaway..and i can't tell anyone..because they can't know my pain..and the only person who i would tell caused me this pain..death seems like a good idea sometimes..too bad i can't be suicidal.

A lost love...

2007-06-05T23:20:00.000+08:00

It was on the 1st of May 2007 that i learnt how fragile life is..three of my friends past away in a car crash that affected the lives of so many people,including mine...imagine waking up in the morning and getting a phone call that your best friend and two other friends have past away in a car crash..and imagine that,just moments before,you were sending your best friend and message,wishing her happy birthday after not seeing her for almost two years..and thinking to yourself that you couldn't call her because your phone had no credit..i wish i had called her..it was just half an hour after i sent her that message that they found her body..i couldn't cry when i found out,even seeing her lying in the coffin..all my mind was saying was that she was sleeping,like a beautiful child,and that she would wake up any moment..i couldn't believe it..and sometimes,it is still hard to believe that she is gone..
The worst thing is knowing that all those times when she was here,i couldn't see her or meet up with her..i oni called her once last year because she was staying so far away..i have never had anyone close past away before,and 3 passing away at once was a terrible thing..
I found out how fragile life is from this incident..and i thank her so much for teaching me that..all those petty problems that has happened in my life seem so unimportant now..i try not to be too concerned about petty things now..i love life so much more now thanks to her..

My Beautiful best friend Reshween and me on her 17th birthday party in KEC

To my best friend:

i thank you for being a huge part of my life, and teaching me so many things..i remember the times when we used to be so amazed about how many things we had in common and i laugh at all the moments i had with you..the memories of us will always remain in my mind and your spirit will always be in my heart..even though we weren't close for the past few years,i still feel like i know you so well..you will always be the beautiful girl with a great heart and have a love for sarcasm as much as i do..i love you so much and i will never forget you...

too much pain

2007-01-25T00:52:00.000+08:00

i miss how i was when i was young,
vibrant and full of excitement,
beautiful and skinny,
that's what the world wants now..
beautiful and skinny,
poised and elegant..
i am none of that..
i used to have my confidence,
i used to have my pride,
but slowly,
that too is fading away..
leaving me with nothing..
i am like an empty vessel,
with nothing inside..
is it possible for my heart to hurt anymore?
because i have felt so much..
too much..
that i don't feel pain anymore..
i don't feel anything,
i am too tired..
too tired to feel,
to tired to cry..
i just want to sleep forever....
oh God,please take away this pain inside.....

Unworthy

2007-01-25T00:17:00.000+08:00

Day after day, i can't help but look around at all the people passing by..it's like one of those movies where i just see my life passing right through but i am sitting down - so still,looking left and right..wondering why..i look at all the beautiful faces around me..girl and guy..and i start to wonder..... i used to have such a confidence in myself that i did not care about anything but my own thoughts and my own actions..i only cared about what's in my heart..but day after day..i all i keep hearing is everyone saying, "you're ugly" to my face..and day after day my heart breaks a little, and my confidence fades..all i am now is a shadow..like a ghost wandering around earth,haunting,but isn't actually seen..even a ghost is better than i am..they are talked about everywhere and people fear them,whereas i,am just transparent like them..nothing more but dust bunnies flying in the air waiting to be swept or blown away....i can't help but look at all the beautiful faces, left and right, guy and girl..everyone more beautiful than i am..all the girls with their long legs and their beautiful curves..i want my confidence back..i want to go home to parents who say they love me instead of saying that i'm fat and ugly..they say i can't make it in the real world because i'm not beautiful..is that true?i'm starting to think that it is..i do not write this because i feel sorry for myself,i write this because i want to release whatever pain i have and hope that God might take away my pain and give me back my courage..i want to feel whole again..like i am worth something..or at least,it that is not possible..i just want my long fringe back,so that i may hide my face and my scars from all the beautiful people..

momentary sadness

2007-01-21T01:15:00.000+08:00

i've been asleep for so long,
dreaming of a world where love is all that matters..
my heart lingers on the fantasy of a man that saved me when i was drowning,
that held me close and gave me warmth in the blistering storm,
and that gave me the most passionate kiss that i will never be able to feel from a real man..
why do i have to wake up?
in my heart,that dream was real,
and when i awoke,
i didn't know which was my reality..
oh God,
let me go back to that moment when the whole world was at peace and everyone was happy just being in love - no worries,no pain..
oh God,
just let me fall asleep again..

my first time

2007-01-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

This is my first blog ever...i actually never thought highly about blogging..never understood the concept of having a diary that everyone can read..but i guess everyone sees blogging in a different way..i'm using it as a way to express myself..and to voice out the opinions i've always had but never bothered to let venture anyway further than my mind..i guess this is where i show my bare essentials to the world (or at least anyone who's reading..). i'm guessing i won't be an everyday blogger, but i'll write whenever i feel like screaming and/or shouting at the world..haha..its funny how i used to say blogging was stupid but i'm doing it now..does this make me a hypocrite?..actually, i always try to do things that i don't like, to try and change my opinion about it..weird huh?..i guess i'm kind of peculiar in my own way..u'll find out more as i continue, or shall i say IF i continue blogging..(i never do finish things..i always start but leave things hanging in the end..)